Beginning.

Earlier this year I had an unexpected visitor.  The dogs responded to a ruckus in the yard and led me to the back left corner of our lot.  There in the darkness, making as much noise as possible to defend itself, was a critter tangled in the picket fence.  Unsure what kind of critter this was, I called in the dogs.  It might be dangerous – even rabid.

In the question of fight or flight, I predictably sprint toward danger.  Soon I found myself walking down the steep hill, flashlight in hand, toward It.

The thing wrestled with the fence and proved the anecdote my father always said of snakes, bears and the like that encounter humans – they are more scared than we are.

Following the beast along the fence line into the glow of the street light, I finally saw a profile.  It was a raptor.  Too small to be a hawk, I suspected a falcon.

Soon I was on the telephone with a bird clinic in Raleigh.  They would care for it, free of charge, if I would capture it and drive it in.  At 10 p.m. without sufficient light or assistance, it seemed unwise.  I had seen its beak and talons.  “Isn’t there something you can do?” I asked.  Their advice was to wait until morning and call animal control.

Not one to wait patiently when a thing is hurting, I paged animal control.  The officer on duty, a kid of 17 and raptor freak, excitedly asked details.  He was not allowed to come at night with the possibility it was a protected species.  I was to call his cell at 7:30 a.m.

At 7:15 I couldn’t wait.  His response: You again?  Yes, me.  The Kid (name forgotten) had lost sleep imagining his first experience saving a bird of prey.  He had already Googled my address and said it would take exactly eight minutes to get here.  Seven minutes later he arrived.

Worn and weary in the back corner of the yard lay a young hawk.  The Kid said it was a red tail and explained that the red feathers don’t come in until the birds reach maturity.  “He doesn’t have his wisdom yet,” The Kid said with assurance.  I had occasionally seen hawks at the pond in my community, but I can’t say with truth that I had ever seen this exact bird.

Together we backed Hawk into the corner of the fence and ushered him into a waiting cage.  Almost shaking with joy, The Kid walked the cage to the white city truck.  Following his instructions, I opened the metal doors on the side of the vehicle and made room for the captive.

During the journey across the yard, Hawk screamed his eternal cry – the same cry heard for centuries, and greatly respected, by indigenous Americans.  Across time, Hawk’s DNA has changed little; he is the same creature now as then.  Hawk is eternal.

As the boy child carefully turned the truck in the right direction and ambled away, Hawk screamed back to his family near my pond.  I was here.  It mattered.  Don’t forget me.

Middle.

Since that day I have been faithful to Hawk.  The Kid told me where our friend went for rehabilitation.  I called and learned he arrived in rough shape.  Fixing his wing would take time, and learning to be Hawk again would not be easy.  They believed he would return to the skies, and I was promised he would be released where he was found.  I was also reassured that even if he didn’t end up exactly where rescued, he would eventually find his way home.

Occasional calls led to the same answers.  Yes, he will be okay in time.  He will be home eventually.

I spent the next few weeks reading about hawks, specifically red tails.  In the coming months I saw them more often than in the past – the side of the road, my favorite out-of-the-way walking spot.  Hawk wanted to be remembered.

Here’s what I found in researching the symbolism of the red tailed hawk:

The red tailed hawk carries the roll of visionary and messenger. This honorable totem brings the lesson of discovering dormant abilities and helps us to see the big picture. It is a symbol of illumination and peace. This special friend offers a path to channel direct contact with hidden wisdoms and insights. It further teaches us to be very observant of these insights and wisdom, the treasures offered by Red Tailed are sacred and of a higher calling. We are asked to show precision and a sharp mind in our hunt for wisdom along our path. When the Red Hawk Soul is then operating from such Higher Intent, these are the natural born investigators, psychics, attorneys and observers that deploy their acumen for insight and direct speech in a constructive, rather than destructive, manner.

Red Tailed Hawk’s Power is further represented by the beautiful red color that comes with maturity. This is our reminder that wisdom takes time and is not something that is given, the wisdom of Red Tailed Hawk is something that must be earned.

It is an honor to encounter a hawk.  And saving Hawk was no random incident.

End.  (Another beginning)

Over the months, like all people, I have been on my own journey.  And like all people, mine is unique and specific.  The details matter only to me, but it has been a good and changing time.

Just this morning I walked with the dogs and came in to start the day.  There would be some work and dinner with a friend.  In the meantime I wanted to enjoy the clear winter view of the pond and do some thinking.

After settling into my favorite chair with the dogs, a brownish rustling caught my eye outside.  There in the back yard, just beyond the picket fence, a hawk sat perched in a small tree.  I walked close to the window to look.  It turned its knowing head and looked at me straight on.

The bird felt strangely like an old friend.  Even as one human and three dogs rushed onto the back porch to get a closer look, it peered back more intently, more sure.  Fewer than four feet from the ground, Hawk made himself known.  And here’s the best part: he has new red tail feathers.  Hawk found his wisdom; rather, he earned it.  Hawk, you see, has seen some things between here and there, and back again.

By the time I left for work, he had flown away.  Whether Hawk is a messenger of something specific or a universal symbol is a question that will be answered in time.  Maybe he’s just a fluke.  I’m open to that.

In any event, a lesson Hawk teaches is the necessity of waiting.  If a thing is good and intended, we must often wait for kairos (God time).  As my friend Tom once put it, “Be still and wait patiently for God will act in God’s time.”  It is a tough lesson.  We are wired to move ever faster.  Pausing creates anxiety as it forces us to sit still with only ourselves.  The faster we move, the more uncomfortable the occasional forced pause.

We all have the experience – whether through illness, loss or other disappointment.  Sometimes things don’t turn out as planned, and the best (or only) thing we can do it wait.  Things will happen when they should.  As someone I know says, quoting Barry Stevens: Don’t push the river; it flows by itself.  Other times we get what we want but through a very different set of (difficult) circumstances.  Only through a look back from a distance can we see we actually got what we needed.

Wisdom comes in time – often with circumstances we cannot control.  It is frequently the result of dissatisfaction or pain.  Wisdom is elusive as the more we crave it, the more distant it seems.  Wisdom is ultimately gained only in our letting go and releasing our own talon grip on control.  Wisdom comes from being where we are, embracing that place, and ourselves…and letting things simply be.

Wishing perspective, patience and peace to all travelers on the path.

© Mitzi Viola, 1/17/11