To celebrate Valentine’s month, I am posting in honor of some of the people I love best…

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I know you were here.

Today, while I was in Cabarrus County making arrangements for my dead father’s funeral, you scoped out my house from the back porch.  You let yourself in.  It’s pretty impolite given the circumstances.

The thing you should know is there’s nothing here – nothing you want anyway.  There are some plants, but it’s only fair to tell you the large palm is dying; it’s not worth your time.  I have my fair share of dust, some family photos and some great magnets on the fridge.  But even the fridge is basically empty.  There’s a television my aunt gave me when Raymond Roberts robbed my little rental house in 2007 – perhaps you know him.  The TV is only 14 inches and about 20 years old, once again not worth the effort.  My laptop screen is actually larger than this TV, the computer you could see from the back door today.  Only you don’t know it belongs to my employer and lives at work…all days but today…when you were here scoping out the neighborhood and I was planning my dead father’s funeral and happened to leave it at home.

(I keep forgetting the dead father thing; it has been less than a week.  It’s also the reason there’s no Christmas tree and not a single gift in the house.  There will be no gifts this year for my family – we all agreed to it.  But someone felt sorry for me and convinced me to buy my first tree.)

The work thing is ironic because I work for a nonprofit that helps people who have not been born into opportunity get ahead – so they have a fair chance, so they don’t become thugs.  That’s a good one.

What you might not know, and forgive me for I have strayed, is I have a security system.  I know – the sign is not out, and that’s not fair.  I apologize.  What’s also not evident is the cell back-up I recently installed.  I believe in truth in advertising, but security signs are kind of tacky.  There’s very little yard out here as it is, so why take it up with something so glaringly red, you know?  But in honor of this occasion, and you, the sign is back.

So that’s my story.  I know.  The Sheriff’s Office knows.  I called – it only made sense.  Plus, Captain Buchanan is a personal friend through work.

Just wanted to save us all some time and trouble.  I have 9 years of a dead man’s back taxes to figure out – well, maybe 8 years – no need to exaggerate.  This may not be your house – unless you can help with the back taxes and the $34,000 collection dispute from his 2004 hospitalization that he never resolved.

But I’m guessing that’s not why you’re here.

p.s. I would have printed this from my home computer, but I don’t have one.  Raymond Roberts, remember.

© Mitzi Viola, 12/15/08